Friday, July 19, 2013

Erotic Romance readers are ignorant deviants...

Well, that would be what the Barnes and Noble Book Blog implied with a post this afternoon. Here is the article which was quickly pulled after a few hours of reader complaints. For your buying pleasure I have changes all the book links to Amazon!

Posted by Lauren Passell × July 19, 2013 at 12:15 pm
I was hesitant to buy a NOOK—I’m one of those readers who takes pride in collecting her wares and surrounding herself with them like they’re old friends. I enjoy forcing them upon passing them out to friends. I like the smell of a book. I like folding the cover back and spilling wine and spaghetti sauce on it. I like underlining and folding back the pages.
But I live in New York City, and my bookshelf space is extremely limited. When I started having to store books underneath my kitchen sink and in my underwear drawer (seriously), I caved and bought a NOOK. It didn’t take long for me to adjust. I could bring 100 books with me on vacation, all in one slender tool. I could hold the device perfectly with one hand, the other gripping a subway pole. I could read it on the Stairmaster with ease, turning pages with the press of a button. This isn’t an advertisement for the NOOK—to each her own. But I quickly wondered what had taken me so long to make the switch. I couldn’t find a single downside to owning all my books on one small electronic device.
Then my NOOK was stolen at the gym—I had left it on that damn Stairmaster. I didn’t worry about it or report it right away; I thought I might find it. Fortunately, I was awake and on my computer at six in the morning the next day when I started receiving email notifications. TIE ME IS NOW IN YOUR NOOK LIBRARY. SURRENDER YOUR LOVE IS NOW IN YOUR NOOK LIBRARY. By the time I registered what had happened, there were 30 books purchased, and they were rapidly piling on. I looked at my cat, who was sitting on my lap, and immediately suspected he had done something to my account. But remembering that Monty only loves historical fiction, and all of these books seemed to be erotica, with the words “bondage” or “lover” in them, I realized that at that moment, while I was sitting on my couch, someone had my NOOK in her hand and was on a shopping spree—and I was picking up the tab. Struck by a wave of unsettling discomfort, I panicked and called my credit card company to cancel the card that was attached to my account. Below, an incomplete list of the books that were downloaded onto my device before I could stop the madness:

Surrender Your Love, by J.C. Reed (“Meeting Jett was like lightning. Dangerous. Better left untouched. And better forgotten. But lightning always strikes twice.”)
Wild Orchids, by Karen Robards (“Prim mid-western schoolteacher Lora Harding is in for the summer vacation of her life when darkly handsome American Max Maxwell slides into her rented car in steamy Cancun, Mexico, and orders her to “drive” at gunpoint…”)
Alpha Bad Boys (7-in-1 Box Set), by Shayla Black, Olivia Cunning, Lisa Renee Jones, Lexi Blake,and Cat Johnson(“Brothers Gavin, Slade, and Dex fall hard for Gavin’s new secretary, beautiful Hannah Craig. The oil executives know they must give her time to get to know them before she can choose one…who will seduce the virgin and keep her for his own?”)
Tie Me, by Olivia Cunning (“His heart is tied to his past… Her heart is tied to her work… They’re bound to become entangled…”)
Heart Of The Billionaire, by J.S. Scott (“Can two people with so many years of hurt between them learn to trust each other again?”)
Sweet Persuasion, by Maya Banks (“For five years, Serena has run Fantasy Incorporated and has devoted her time to fulfilling her clients’ fantasies. Never her own. Until now…”)
Their Virgin Hostage, by Shayla Black and Lexi Blake (“In the wilds of Alaska, the three men try to pry Kinley open, only to discover she’s both stronger and more innocent than they imagined. Her sweet beauty melts their suspicion and steals their hearts. Together, they awaken her passion and brand her as their own.”)
Innocence Defied, by Lainey Reese (“When business brings him to New York City indefinitely, Gage Hollister is sure that somewhere in this massive city, there must be a woman whose need to be dominated matches his thirst to dominate.”)
Going Cowboy Crazy, by Katie Lane (“If Faith wants to avoid heartbreak, she’ll have to show a certain ruggedly handsome cowboy that this crazy-impossible love is worth fighting for.”)
Anything He Wants, by Sara Fawkes (“Lucy Delacourt’s temp position isn’t quite her dream job but it pays the bills. The highlight of her day is riding the elevator in the mornings with a handsome stranger. Tall, dark, and sexy as hell, Lucy knows he’s way out of her league, but a girl can look, right?”)

If you can learn a lot about someone based on their library, I knew everything I wanted to know and more about the person that had stolen my NOOK. Except for who she (presumably she) was! I wanted to step all over her, with the powerful thighs I had earned stepping on that Stairmaster while reading Lord Of The Flies! Who was this woman? In addition to these books, she had downloaded several free books, including His Voice, His Command, by Vonna Harper(why?) and, surprisingly, a subscription to the New York Times (I hadn’t taken her for a Times girl).
After a phone call with B&N Customer Service (this is before I was employed by B&N), the books were deleted from my account and I received a full refund, except for the New York Times subscription, which I kept. (Thanks, NOOK caper. I didn’t even know I could read the NYT on my Simple Touch!) So whoever had taken my NOOK still had it, with only the books that I had purchased before it was stolen, which were still on my account. I was bitter, but slept easier at night figuring the woman could stand to diversify her library a bit—it might do her some good to read Christopher Hitchens. But then I wondered if I needed to diversify, too. Maybe this whole debacle was a sign I needed to start reading Girls Only: Pajama Party. I guess I’ll never know. The worst part was that my recommended books became totally off-mark. (No, Barnes & Noble. I would not be interested in Mile High!)
This is not an advertisement for the NOOK, but it is a public service announcement. The B&N customer service employee alerted me to a helpful function on the device—you can protect your purchases with a password, something I advise everyone to do. Right now. Stop reading this and do it. I’ll wait.
Anyway, I continued to frequent the gym with an eye out for my NOOK, and for the person who was vile enough to steal from me, narrow-minded enough to not buy one true crime book (which I would have enjoyed), and stupid enough to wait to ransack my account till 6 a.m. Had (s)he started pressing the buy button at 3 a.m., when I was snoring in dreamland, (s)he could have spent hundreds of dollars more. (The final tab was $238.)
Protect your account, everyone, unless you want to accidentally diversify your library. The NOOK game is a risky one, but one that I’ve found is worth it.

Have you ever been a victim of literary identity theft?


Alright where to begin on this one! So many issues!!

First shame on Barnes and Noble for alienating readers and book buyers. Are you in the business of selling books or judging reading habits? Did you think something like this would make people want to buy those books? Ok, ya got me there cause I had to grab a couple after reading the description, but I did not buy them from you so, HA!

At the start of the article I was appalled at the authors treatment of print books. I can not respect anybody who is okay with getting food and drink stains on her books. And do not even get me started on the dog-earing and writing on pages. This is a touch off topic but it shows her lack of respect for books in general.

I love how for the book descriptions she took phrases out of context to define the whole book. I have Alpha Bad Boys and it is not the "gangbang the virgin" book she makes it out to be! And I read the Vonna Harper freebie and it was a very well written BDSM short story!

The judgmental and prudish Ms Passell goes on to imply that the person who reads such drivel is less than worthy of her time. And she is more than eager to get violent with her for her reading selections, not the fact that she is a thief.

Ms. Pretentious assumes that because one reads erotic romance that that can not possible read anything of real substance  She throws out a reference to Lord of the Flies, a book most of us read in AP English in High School. What you didn't want to really impress us with Tolstoy or Nabokov? She also suggested reading Christopher Hitchens, sure his memoir was fascinating but he is also an alcoholic atheist who once defended Vladimir Lenin, so great moral example there!

Again she expresses shock that the thief would get a subscription to the New York Times. Hey we like to read world events in between our smut! Oh, and guess what genre make the NYT Best Seller list it's bitch on a regular basis? That's right romance and erotic romance! Laurann Dohner smacks mainstreams a$$ every time a new book releases!!

Another part of the article that mystifies me is why didn't she just deregister the device? My Kindle let's me do that and all it takes is going to my account online and clicking a couple buttons. And I don't know report the stolen device to B&N so they can track if the thief tries to use it again. I don't know, those are the thoughts of a simple minded erotic romance reader. I could not possibly know what I am talking about!

In short Barnes and Noble better shape up or they will be sinking faster than the Titanic! There are already rumbles about problems with the Nook and not continuing the product. It would really suck if they went the way of Borders. If you don't like the books don't sell them, oh wait that would be very bad cause you are in the business of making money. And those naughty sex books sell!

I, for one, like my naughty sexy books!! Give me the spankings and the kink and the menage and the werewolves and the vampire orgies and all the delicious orgasms!! The people who look down on these books must not like sex. I am sure they are doing it wrong and need these books to show them the light! Oh, and BTW I have my 80 year old grandmother reading this "mommy porn" and she brags about it everyday! Never leaves home without her kindle!

I have also been made aware that All Romance e-books carries all of these books and so many more in epub and other formats. And many of the authors qualify as part of ARe's buy 10 get 1 free rewards program. Shut your mouth! A bookstore that gives me a free book for buying books I was already getting!! Talk about customer appreciation!! Oh and they have loads of freebies too!!!

That is my rant for the night!! Please feel free to comment and send your disregards to B&N! ! I refuse to take judgement from folks who would not know an orgasm if it slapped them in the clit!(#TooFar?)


  1. Nicely said, April. So much for B&N trying to protect themselves and their blogger from the wrath of the romance readers. ;)

    1. It was a pretty quick take down. I hardly even had a chance to get my steam up! I am on the fence about them. On the one hand they let that tripe be posted. On the other they removed it quickly when people complained.

      An apology would go a long way in keeping my on even as a print customer.

  2. It's just amazing to me still that anyone there thought that was a good idea to put out there. And ugh her treatment of books? Gah!

    I'm so with you. I love those naughty reads and won't be ashamed of it for a second. I'm checking All Romance out and will be using their links on the blog now. I bought a couple of those ebooks too LOL And yeah not from B&N.

    1. I think if she can judge me on what I read it is only fair for me to judge her on how she treats books!

      And definitely use All Romance, those free books add up, especially if you are a big reader!

  3. I totally agree. I am so tired of these people who look at you like you are a lesser being because you read a romance novel or a BDSM erotica. If they would just loosen up and be a bit more open minded, they might find that sex is nothing to be embarrassed about, and may even open up their minds to new ideas in other areas. It blows me away that people are still so judgmental based off of one or two things they disagree with. What if it was actually someone who she knows closely, but didn't know they read "smut" novels? And, for the record, Lord of the Flies is fucking twisted. At least our community likes to read about joy and happiness!

    1. Right! Didn't those kids kill and cannibalize each other?

      I feel like getting her a gift certificate for Edens Fantasys, cause God knows she needs a big "O" to lighten her tight a$$ up!

  4. Thanks for some new titles to add to my TBR list, lol. And that explains what happens to some of these poor abused books...disrespectful so-called bibliophiles!

    1. Is it sad that I am just as mad about her treatment of books as I am of the genre? I want to go to her house and liberate all her hard-copies. I have a much nicer, safer bookshelf for them.

  5. This is still irritating to me. This wouldn't have been an article had the ereader thief downloaded memoirs or something.

    1. It might have been an article but actually focused on how to protect your device and account in the case of theft.

      I personally am no longer going to bother with B&N for any of my romance needs. There are so many other places out there that don't abuse the readers.

      I used to really love them but then they turned into a coffee bar with books. How the mighty have fallen!

  6. Great post ;) Thanks for an articulate explanation of why we romance and erotic romance readers were rightfully offended by that post and its writer!

  7. I saw on another post that Ms. Passell is a social media editor for B&N. Just another strange twist to this whole fiasco.


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